pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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