I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
