she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
