There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
