You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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