All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
