Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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