Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So squirting runs in the family.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
