pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
