Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
