at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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