They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
