Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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