Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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