Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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