How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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