so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
