Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
