Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
