You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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