my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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