She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
