I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
