I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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