i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
