I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
