Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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