How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
