i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
handjob tips. give me some.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
