I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
