My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
