I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
