i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
