You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
