Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
