that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
