my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize