It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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