I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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