She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think i have herpe
just one?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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