and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i now understand why vodka
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
