piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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