So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
