All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Holy sore nipples Batman
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
