Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
