When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
