every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
