So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
