Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize