He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
