On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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