i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
