man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
is that a dick in a sweater?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
