I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
