She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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