I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize