I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
